


Two Halves Make a Whole

by salt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Karkat, davekat - Freeform, drunk makeouts, interspecies makeouts, possible sadstuck, quadrent confusion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-26
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-19 14:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/574294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salt/pseuds/salt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Karkat is alone, and the only other guy who's as close to being as pathetic as he is, is Dave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Defeat

**Author's Note:**

> overall this'll probably be a hurt/comfort fic with some quadrent flipping sex inthere somewhere, but the inspirtation came from this:  
> Well hey, they're both sad, pathetic and desperate, why not be sad, pathetic and desperate together!

Being alone was something Karkat had grown accustomed to. Dave and Terezi hung out with the mayor, Rose and Kanaya had their creepy-ass flirt/study parties, and Gamzee… Who the fuck knew what Gamzee was doing or where he even was. He wasn’t sure if it could be described as better or worse when their Ancestor/Descendants’ dream bubble showed up. The dead trolls were even more intolerable than the people he had been stuck with on Alternia. Meenah was the only one he could actually stand the company of. Kankri was… the worst out of all of them. At least he gave him some mild form of company, even though Karkat felt more like a mirror for the ghost to look into and rant at than an actual conversation partner. Even attempting to have a conversation with the red-dressed douche-nozzle was hopeless.

After everything that happened, once Meenah’s bubble passed over the meteor, even Terezi’s presence became scarce. Karkat rarely saw her as it was, and had for the most part, accepted her matespritship with Dave. But when he did see her, the hood of her dragon cape was tugged over her face. She seemed defeated, guilty even. She insisted it wasn’t anything to do with Dave, but wouldn’t explain the problem either. She became harder to locate after that.

Then Dave started looking for her. That’s when Karkat figured something was wrong.

  “Hey Vantas, you seen TZ? We had a date with the mayor today.”

Karkat didn’t even bother looking away from the screen as another mindless romcom played. This was the fourth time Dave had wandered into his makeshift respiteblock in search of the teal-blood.

  “Why would I see her. I haven’t even left this fucking room in about three days. Shouldn’t you know these things? You are her matesprit.”

  “Yeah well she hasn’t really been up in the clear with me as of late. Disappearing in and out of sight. Third time she’s stood me up, man.”

  “Maybe she found something better to do.”

  “You think she’s off having orgies with her crazy ancestor or joining in on Kanaya and Roses’ interspecies sexcapades?”

Karkat didn’t respond, gaze glued to the movie that he’d seen too many times.

  “Besides, she always invites me and the mayor to join in on her crazy justice larps.”

The bubbles of jealously that used to rise up was nothing but a flicker of defeat at this point. He hunched over further.

  “If that’s all you can kindly get the fuck out.”

There was silence and Karkat assumed ShadesMgee had left, but his assumption was proven wrong when his voice spoke up again.

  “I figured I might be able to find her if you helped me out, you’ve known her longer. You might know where she’s scampered off to.”

This time the troll turned his head, looking into the black shades.

  “You want me to help you find Terezi?”

  “Yeah, why the fuck not. Doing it by myself isn’t getting anywhere.”

The TV was off and Karkat was slowly detaching himself from the couch.

  “Fine, but you owe me. This was my favorite movie.” He lied.

He was starting to hate every last one of his romcoms. They all reminded him of how every romance he’d attempted, he’d failed at.


	2. The search

Karkat and Dave had begun to wander the dull corridors of the meteor’s dilapidated buildings. Silence was heavy in the air as they walked, Karkat slouching over into himself and Dave with his hands shoved into his ass-pajama pockets. The only words they spoke were the calling of Terezi’s name.

They checked in all the places she had drawn on and scattered scalemates, but the teal-blood herself was nowhere to be found.

  “Where is she?..” Karkat murmured, his concern had been piqued.

Suddenly the troll stopped in his tracks.

Dave took a couple more steps before coming to a lazy stop, looking back at him.

  “What’s up Vantas, legs stiffening up from overuse already?”

  “Did you hear that?” Karkat cut in.

Dave cocked an eyebrow but remained quiet as the two boys listened.

_Honk._

  “Well shit, it’s the clown.”

Karkat was gone in an instant, running towards the sound. He had a new goal in mind and that was to find Gamzee. Terezi was probably just chilling out somewhere but that gentle honk came from a moirail he hadn’t seen in weeks. A moirail who shouldn’t be outside of the vents, but Karkat wanted so desperately to be with.

  “Gamzee!” Karkat called as he rushed to the sound.

The honks were louder, and he heard other sounds as well. Grunts and growls. Shit, had Kanaya found him?

As he took a right he was able to spot indigo blood smeared across the wall, leading him down the hall.

The fear that rose up was so great,

that he didn’t even notice the teal blood that was there with it.


	3. Betrayal

  “Gamzee!”

Karkat swung around the last corner and threw open the door, his eyes immediately falling on the paint-smudged face of his moirail. But the other troll there was not Kanaya.

  “Jesus Karkat, give a guy a warning before you decide to-“

Dave lost whatever he was planning on saying when he entered the room.

Neither troll wore a shirt, and Gamzee’s pants were near discarded. Teal and Indigo spirals mixed against their skin and on the floor.

Terezi gasped as she recognized the newcommers.

  “Oh- Oh shit- Karkat? Dave?”

Gamzee had vanished, lunging into the nearest vent before anyone had the sense to stop him. Terezi bolted upright, arms covering her chest and a teal blush spreading over her face.

  “Fuck- Oh fuck, Dave- Karkles… I can explain!”

  “Explain…? Explain what, the fact that I just caught you cheating on me? Yeah sure, Go ahead TZ, you go right-a-fucking head and explain what I just saw.” Dave’s voice remained calm, but there was a snap in his tone that caused Terezi to flinch. Karkat merely stared after Gamzee, eyeing the black insides of the vent.

  “No- Dave, come on I’ve explained this before- I’m not cheating on you- I’m red for you… Gamzee is… I just hate him so fucking much! Dave you have to get this, its part of my culture!”

  “No, Terezi, you’ve got to get this. When I agreed to being your matesprit or whatever, you agreed that it would be just me. I’ve tried to figure out your crazy troll culture but I can’t be okay with the idea of my girl going out and fucking some homicidal clown. You said you were down with that. And now I just so happen to catch you in the act with the motherfucker? How do I even know that this hasn’t been going on since we got on this stupid meteor?”

  “Dave, Dave come on, be reasonable-“

  “Yeah I’m done with reason. Whatever TZ. You have fun with your juggalo hate-crush.”

Dave stepped out of the room without a second glance and flash-stepped out of sight.

Terezi’s dead eyes fell on Karkat.

  “Karkles?”

He had just been staring at the vent, mind so lost on the fact that Gamzee had just… run away. Red tears were already dripping down his cheeks and it took all his strength to turn his gaze back to Terezi.

She gave a weak smile.

  “You understand, right?”

  “Gamzee…” Karkat spoke softly, as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

  “What?”

  “Why would Gamzee…” His voice cracked.

  “Why would Gamzee do this? How could he do this? To me? To his fucking _moirail_! I calmed his stupid crazy ass down when he almost killed everyone and I’ve saved him from Kanaya on so many occasions- To.. To pull this? When I need him most and I find him with- with- with _you_!” Karkat spat out his words as if they were poison. Karkat balled his hands into fists and hissed his fury at Terezi, who still sat wide eyed on the floor. His vision blurred and he didn’t even realize he was screaming. He didn’t know what he was saying anymore. Everything just hurt so much.

“He knew our history and he fucking knew how I felt. To pull this now, when everything was so shitty as it was and I was _so_ fucking _alone_. You- You have Strider and that shitty-ass mayor. Your ancestor isn’t a complete asswipe and you have friends. When I needed someone the most, when I needed someone by my side where were you? _Fucking my shitting moirail_!!!”

“Karkat please! Please just let me say something!” Terezi scrambled to her feet.

“No. You’ve said enough. no wait you haven’t said anything. You’ve _done_ enough. Actions speak louder than words Terezi, and you nor Gamzee have done anything but each other.”

“You’ve tried so hard to keep me out of your life? well here to go, I’m gone. Out and gone and you can tell Gamzee I’ll be out of his life from now on out too.”

And with that Karkat ran out of the room and down the hall, leaving Terezi with only the memory of their friendship and the sound of the mutant-bloods sobs echoing through the building.


	4. Impact

He didn’t know where he was headed and he didn’t care. He just wanted to get away. Red tears blocked his vision and he couldn’t see or hear or breathe. His heart and lungs burned. His head pounded.

He just kept running.

He skidded around a corner, running only a few more feet at full speed before slamming straight into a red-garbed figure.

  “Ow- fuck. Watch where you’re fuckin going-“

Karkat fell back from the impact, landing flat on his ass. A hiccup of a sob escaped his lips before he could stop it, horrified that anyone would see him like this.

Dave turned, rubbing his shoulder and looking down at the mess of troll.

  “Well shit.” was all he said.

Neither boy did anything for a few moments; Karkat was still shaken from their previous encounter with Terezi. Dave just stared down at him. It was _agonizing_. Why didn’t he say something? Laugh and leave or make some insulting remark.

When Dave moved Karkat’s first thought was that he was going to hit him, but the human offered an open palm.

  “Come on, get up.”

Karkat quickly wiped his eyes and glanced to the blond’s hand before giving him a scowl, slapping it away and getting to his feet on his own.

Of all the things he could of said, the exact opposite of what he wanted were his golden words to Strider.

  “Leave me alone.”

He didn’t even hear what Dave said next, he was already pushing past him and heading straight to his respite block.

 _Leave me alone_? Who was he kidding? He was so desperate for someone confide in it was eating him away and now he really did have no one.

No moirail and no potential kismesis either.

He missed Sollux and Eridan and Nepeta and Feferi and fuck, even Equius, no matter how fucking annoying and useless they could be.

He missed John and Jade.

He wished some of his friends were still alive and wished the humans were at least available to talk to.

He wished everything could just go back to the way things were. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be longer bros and itll be out by the end of the day


	5. Connection

  “Leave me alone.” Karkat sounded more raspy than usual.

Dave raised his hands in a mock defensive position.

  “Hey man, you ran into me.”

The troll didn’t even show any signs of recognition; he was already making his way down the hall and towards the transportilizer that would take him to the crab-cave.

Dave watched him go, but didn’t say anything else.

 ‘Leave me alone’ was what he heard. ‘I really need a fucking hug’ is what he saw. Dave felt about the same, except he was not the hugging type. Especially when it came to shouty stubby trolls.

  “Dave?”

Terezi was in worse shape than Karkat. Whatever happened after he’d walked out had done a number on both trolls. Her cheeks were wiped dry but stained teal. Her shirt was on, but torn and the bloodied marks on her arms and neck did her no justice. The red frames of her glasses were missing from her face, gripped in her hand.

  “Dave… I’m… Sorry.” Her voice was cracking.

His face was masked.

  “Damage’s done TZ.”

She gave a quiet sniffle and stared at him.

  “You an me being anything but friends just ain’t gunna work out.”

She lowered her gaze before his words clicked and she looked back to him.

  “Wait- so we’re still friends?”

Dave shrugged. So they weren’t culturally suited to be in a romantic relationship, well you’ve gotta try before you know if it works or not, right?

  “You’re a good friend, but a shitty girlfriend. And a shittier human.”

This almost drew a smile from her.

  “But Dave, I’m _not_ a human.”

  “Exactly why I’m afraid you and I will never being matesprits or partnersprits or kimespits or whatever the fuck.”

Her mouth twitched up and she placed her glasses on her nose, looking hopeful.

  “What about a moirail?”

  “Terezi, maybe you should give me another lesson on troll culture before I consider being anything with you.”

  “But friends?”

  “Friends are cool.”

She managed a smile and though Dave was still downright grossed out and pissed off by the earlier dispay between her and the clown, he did appreciate her friendship.

  “Friends it is.”

She moved to hook arms with the human, but he moved away. He felt her heart drop.

  “I got some shit to do first, before we go and play out the sickest of friendship traditions. Like vomit.”

She a uneffective eyeroll.

  “Oh come on Dave, black romance isn’t that bad.”

  “It is when its between you’re girlfriend and some creepy as clown.” He quipped, and started heading down the hall.

  “Go find the mayor and I’ll catch up with you later.”

He could hear the grin in her voice.

  “You got it, and don’t stand me up!”

  “No way man, a Strider would never ditch a lady. Take your own advice.”

Her cackling laughter covered up the tension in the air.

  “See ya cool kid!”

It would take him a while. Take him a while to get those nasty images out of his head and stop staring at those blue-green bruises on her skin, but he didn’t want to lose a friendship out of that.

Now, though, he had a grumpier troll to deal with. Why? The kid looked damn near suicidal when he stormed off, and though the two of them were the opposite of close or friends or anything at all, Karkat was fucking alone and Dave didn’t think the troll could fix it on his own. Not in the right way, anyways.

 

In seconds of stepping on the transportalizer, he arrived an the dark corridors of Karkat’s… Room? House? Space. Lets go with space. He stepped off the transportilizer into the darkness.

  “Hey Vantas, you in here?”

The TV wasn’t on, there wasn’t any source of light in the room and it was covered in so much crap that Dave could barely walk through the place without stumbling and near falling onto his face.

  “Shit- do you ever clean this place?”

He could hear the trolls shaky breathing.

  “What do you want.”

  “You looked like you were ready to throw yourself from the tallest building on the meteor back there.”

He took a deep ragged breath.

  “Why do you care.”

 Dave managed to find a shelf to lean his weight against; he was still too stubborn to take off his shades. Even though his eyes would adjust a hell of a lot better without them on.

  “I’m pretty sure we don’t need any more dead trolls. We need all the help we can get.”

A sigh shook the trolls body.

  “Right. I’m a weapon, I forgot.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be the big ol’ leader?”

Karkat scoffed.

  “Right, look how good that turned out.”

Dave pursed his lips and then let out a sigh, moving away from his shelf to navigate towards the troll.

  “Dude you can’t really move forward if you don’t… Move.” He stepped on something sharp enough to near puncture his shoe and hissed.

  “Where’s a light switch in this place?”

  “That’s what you get for wearing stupid glasses in the dark.” Karkat muttered.

  “Like you can make your way through this mess. Did you purposefully throw everything out of its place just so nobody would come find you? Maybe you really do want to be left alone and I should just leave. If I could find my way out.” He kicked something over for effect.

  “You better not break my fucking TV.”

Dave smirked.

  “Oh hey what’s this? oh- Oh shit!” He found the flat screen of the TV and tapped the glass mockingly before tripping over the cord that attached it to the DVD player, falling over face first. His left arm hit the coffee table with a crack, only giving him one arm to catch himself with as he hit the ground. The impact on the table caused the flat surface to tilt and the DVD player collapsed onto his back. He let out a cough as the breath was knocked out of him.

  “Oh sweet fuck- what did you do!”

  “Fuckfuckfuck” was all Dave could manage as he gasped for breath.

His ears were ringing but he could still hear the shuffling as Karkat moved from wherever he was. The weight was lifted from his back and he groaned, not sure he wanted to try moving just yet.

  “If you broke my DVD player I swear to fucking god…” He saw movement in front of him and it took him a moment to realize Karkat was crouched in front of him.

  “What kind of idiot wears sunglasses when it’s dark.” With that Karkat plucked them off Dave’s face and stood up.

  “Hey, not cool man. Give those back.” Dave protested immediately, shifting into a sitting position a bit too quickly, and his body groaned. His left arm was still burning and his back was bruised for sure. He rubbed his back and looked up to see Karkat wearing his shades, and though it seemed reluctant, he offered a hand out to Dave. He thought to shove away and get up himself, and then he remembered how Karkat had done the very same thing. Had he thought much of it at the time? Not really, mostly a ‘ _rude, just trying to help man_ ’, but then again, maybe the troll was trying to prove a point. Plus, he didn’t want to tick him off; the fucker had his shades.

Either way, he took the trolls hand and the help it gave in getting him to his feet. As soon as he was up, the troll wiped his hand on his shirt and turned away.

  “Uh hey, the shades?” Dave did _not_ like feeling this exposed. He was willing to ask first but if the stubby kid wouldn’t hand them over…

  “Fuck you, this is the toll for entering my respite block.”

  “Really, I thought the toll was tripping over your piles of shit and breaking my neck.”

  “Well that’s the other option but your neck sure as hell doesn’t look broken.”

Dave sighed.

  “Shades. Now.”

Karkat ignored him and slumped onto the couch, which is where Dave assumed he was before.

  “Why are you _here_ , Strider?”

  "Already told you that, you looked like you were ready to end it dude. Its just relationship crap, it’ll blow over.”

  “Relationship crap? I don’t _have_ any relationships to crap, especially not anymore.”

Karkat grabbed a remote and flicked on the TV, it fizzed with static until he pressed play, and the DVD player bleeped to life.

  “Terezi seemed pretty messed up at whatever happened in there.”

Karkat’s face was stone; though his jaw was set there wasn’t a hint of expression on his face. The shades helped though, he couldn’t read his eyes with those things on.

  “I’d be pretty messed up too if Gamzee got that close to me.”

Trailers for a movie started playing. Something about a troll dude stealing a plant and escaping with a girl who was flushing for another troll but then… Troll romance is tedious.

  “Quadrents are complicated.” Dave said suddenly, checking to make sure his feet were no longer tangled before moving to sit next to Karkat on the couch.

The smaller form froze.

  "What are you doing?”

  “Not leaving till I get my shades back.”

  “You want to risk breaking your neck again?”

  “Well, that’s the toll isn’t it?”

He scoffed, and removed the glasses, shooting Dave a look. They were both silent a moment.

  “Is this seriously what you do all day? You just… sit here in the dark, by yourself, and watch the same movies over and over?” Dave inquired.

  “I have nothing else to do. No one to see.” There was that look again, that utter hopelessness in the trolls eyes, causing his shoulders to slump and his face to go lax. It gave him a wierd feeling he couldn't knock, and could only describe as pity.

  “Can I stick around then, if you don’t have plans?”

His head swung to look at the human so fast, his eyes wide with suspicion. He’d tried this before, or at least, he used to. Karkat always shooed him away, and by shooed him away he meant thrown blunt and not-so-blunt objects at him till he left.

He snatched his shades and replaced them on his face, then moved to get up.

  “Or not, no biggie. You have fun in here by yourself forever.”

There was a hand on his sleeve.

  “Wait- don’t… You don’t have to leave.”  His voice was small.

Dave felt the smallest tug at the corner of his mouth. But it wasn’t so much smug as it was out of pity. Karkat was so damn lonely that he was going to put up with Dave’s sorry ass.

He turned back and slouched back onto the couch.

  “Sweet, what are we watching?”

  “It would take too long to say the title… Just… Watch. And stay on _that_ side of the couch.”

Dave smirked.        

  “Whatever you say Vantas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh


	6. Intoxication

As it turned out, Dave was actually a good movie-watching partner. He interrupted the movie to make snide remarks and mock Karkat’s collection but in all honesty the troll didn’t mind all that much. It was almost a relief to just have someone there to talk to.

After the movie had ended on the first day, there had been an awkward silence until Dave had stood up.

  “We should do this again sometime.”

And before Karkat even remembered the shell he had hidden himself inside for so long, he eagerly agreed. It wasn’t even two days later before Dave invited himself over to Karkat’s room again, and another movie was clicked into the TV.

It had started to become routine. Dave would go to Karkat’s and they would watch movies and eat snacks. After a couple weeks, Dave even noticed Karkat coming out of the crab-cave more often. Karkat started to feel more relaxed around Dave, and he started to feel better about himself. He stopped worrying about Gamzee and Terezi. Though it still hurt to think about the path Terezi was heading down and how Gamzee had abandonded him.

Karkat found himself in the library on one dreary day, (or night, wasn’t really a difference on the meteor) He flipped through a romance novel and sighed as Rose entered the room with Dave.

  “Hows the apple juice coming alone?” Dave asked her.

  “Itll ge tdone ok Davce clam down.”

And she was drunk. Ugh.

Rose stumbled into a chair at the table Karkat was sitting at let out drunken giggle. She nearly dropped the long-necked bottle she was carrying if it wasn’t for Dave who caught it.

  “If you’ve got time to get drunk I would think you’d have enough time to make me apple juice Rose, come on.”

She waved a hand at him, reaching for the bottle which he easily pulled away.

  “No way, you’ve had enough.”

  “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave.” She groaned.

Dave started heading off before he looked back at Karkat.

  “Hey Vantas, movie at your place? I’m picking the movie this time though.”

The troll perked up when he was called to but didn’t move without casting a glance to Rose who was whining and rolling her face on the table.

  “What about her?”

  “Meh, Kanaya’ll find her.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and slowly got to his feet. From here he moved to follow Dave towards the “crab-cave” as Dave called it.

Once they arrived Karkat, unhappily, agreed to let Dave pick the movie. The troll remained on the worn couch as Dave set up the movie and then flicked off the lights and moved to sit next to Karkat on the couch.

Before the lights were off, Karkat noted that Dave brought Rose’s bottle of inebriating liquid.

  “You should probably return that to her at some point.” Karkat muttered over the opening credits.

He felt Dave shrug next to him and lean forward, picking up the bottle from the table.

  “Or we could drink it.” Dave suggested.

Karkat snorted.

  “I have no interest in your alcoholic beverages.”

  “I don’t have much interest either, but hey, why not. Its just one bottle. We have plenty of time to recover and nothing better to do.”

Karkat gave him a look.

  “I thought we were supposed to be watching a movie nookwhif.”

There was a gentle pop as Dave pulled the cork out of the end of the bottle.

  “We can still watch the movie man, maybe this will make the movie better. It’ll throw us into a wicked world of cinematography like no man, or troll, has ever seen it before. Instead of watching their romance blossom we will experience it ourselves. Oh great alcohol, cast us away into the fairytale world of Romeo and Juliet.”

  “Isn’t that the one where they both die.” Karkat interrupted, growing frustrated.

  “Cast us away into the fairytale world of a prince and his princess. Give us the gift of a fairy godmother so the lost slipper of dreams can be returned to the princess’s foot of destiny. Let that destiny step on those dreams until the heels break. Wait. ”

Karkat groaned and pulled the bottle away from Dave.

  “Will you shut up if I agree to drunk some?”

Dave shrugged and leaned against the back of the couch.

  “Yeah sure.”

  “Fine but then you have to drink it too.”

  “We’ll each have half, deal?”

  “Deal.”

And so they drank on it.

After the first gulp Karkat scowled and let out a loud “BLEUGH!!” causing Dave to laugh out loud.

  “That’s fucking disgusting!”

Dave took a swig and swallowed fast.

  “Your not supposed to taste it dude! Just chug and swallow.”

  “Then whats the point of consuming it!?”

Dave took another swig before handing the bottle back to Karkat.

  “Take a couple more drinks and you’ll figure it out.”

Karkat wrinkled his nose at the foul smelling bottle and its contents.

  “I will never understand why you humans do the things you do.”

He took another sip, this time quickly swallowing down before the burn could hit his tongue. Bile still rose in his throat though.

Karkat tried to concentrate more on the movie instead of the taste, but the more he drank, the harder it was to concentrate on anything.

  “Fuck.” He muttered.

Dave laughed. “Don’t lose yourself yet bro, we got a good five shots left.”

Karkat’s head was starting to spin and the light emanating from the TV was too bright. What had Dave even put on? It looked like a rainbow drinker flick. Oh god, these movies were full of pailing. How did Dave find them?

He caught glance of Dave gulping down a few sips before handing the bottle back off the Karkat.

  “That’s the last of it and its all yours.” Dave’s words were starting to slurr together. Though Karkat wasn’t sure if that was Dave’s speaking or Karkat’s hearing that was causing the words to mesh together.

Nevertheless, Karkat took the bottle and finished off its contents. He was barely able to place the empty bottle soundly on the table without letting out a snort.

  “Holy Fuck Strider whats even fucking going on.”

  “Welcome to drunk I will be your guide.” Dave grinned.

Karkat shoved Dave’s shoulder and snirked, partially missing and nearly falling on the human.

  “Fuuck, okay. We’re completely intoxicated. Achievement unlocked- fucking with the mutant trolls head. Now what?”

Dave pointed at the TV screen. “We watch the movie and see how funny shit gets. Let the world of crazy vampires overtake us.”

  “Dave why did you even choose this dumbass movie you horny bulgemuncher, its more sexual than… Something sexual.”

  “Smooth one words-mcgee.”

Karkat snorted and laughed.

  “Words mcgee? What the fuck is that?”

  “What the fuck is you?”

  “Holy sweet grubhatching fuck don’t even start.”

By this point both boys were laughing at their own stupidity and inability to come of with decent comebacks. Karkat shoved Dave over again and Dave gave a half hearted attempt to slap his hand away. He just ended up hitting the troll in the face however.

  “What the fuck fuck you you fuck”

Dave pushed Karkat off the couch and proceeded to stretch out, grinning drunkenly at the troll.

  “Oh thank you Karkles for letting me have this couch all to myself. Now if you wouldn’t mind shutting up, the hot chick is about to get fucked by the dude.”

  “Like hell I’m staying on the floor you shit of piece.” Karkat growled and tried to dig his arms underneath Dave, attempting to drag him off the couch. Dave merely raised one arm, still laughing at Karkat’s slip of the tongue.

  “I am the shit of peace, I may stink like ass but at least I bring peace to this world.”

  “You are such a fucking loser give me back my couch or I will beat you to death with that bottle dammit.”

  “Fine you want your couch back so bad you can have it.” And without even a second thought, Dave rolled off the couch and flat onto Karkat, slamming his head back into the floor.

  “OW! Fuck you, asswagon.”

And in the moment Dave moved up, shades falling off his face as he looked down at Karkat. His expression that was usually kept locked away was displayed on his face for all to see with the alcohol affecting his judgment.

  “Hey Karkat lets make like the movies and frick.”

Karkat felt a disturbing flash of heat run through him. It was probably a mix of the alcohol and all the shoving he had been doing with the human. Not to mention young troll hormones but hell, he wasn’t really capable of putting to much thought into this at the moment.

  “You are so fucking drunk.”

Dave shifted over Karkat and before the troll registered what the human was doing, his hands were pinned beside his head and Dave’s glasses had fallen clean off.

  “You dumb shit.” Was all Karkat could manage to mutter, his thoughts muddled and the air thick with heat.

  “Shh Karkat do you hear that.”

Karkat went quiet for a moment, listening in confusion. What he heard was moans coming from the TV. Oh god.

  “All I hear is your breathing in my fucking ear and the TV.”

Just to be more irritating, Dave leaned down and whispered lightly in Karkat’s ear, letting his breath tickle the trolls skin.

  “They’re fricking.”

  “I am so fucking done with you.”

  “Hey Karkat.”

  “What..”

  “What if we did it. Like what kind of junk do trolls have Rose wont tell me.”

Karkat wanted to bury into the ground and ignore the question, he wanted to punch strider in the face and avoid the question altogether. For some reason he did neither of these things.

  “Why don’t you just find out if your so damn curious.”

He had meant it sarcastically.

But he got the feeling Drunk Dave hadn’t taken it so sarcastically when he felt what he assumed to be Dave’s leg press into his crotch. This snapped him somewhat out of his daze.

  “holyfuckingshit- What the fuck are you doing you nookmunching loadgaper I was fucking joking-“

He wasn’t able to object further however, because suddenly a pair of lips were pressed feverishly against his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops i gave them alcohol
> 
> i just really want them to frick ok im sorry


	7. Infatuation

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, seemed like a great idea. Dave’s hands kept Karkat’s pinned to the floor as his tongue worked at the troll’s mouth. One knee pressed firmly between his legs and heat coming off of both of their bodies in waves. Why the fuck not? His thoughts said. We’re drunk, we’re lonely, we’re bored.

At some point, something sparked in Dave’s head and he broke the kiss, the troll beneath him was frozen still. His eyes opening wide and his breathing sharp.

Why was he looking at him like that?

Oh.

Shit.

Dave sat up, scrambling off of the troll, hitting his head on the underside of the coffee table in his drunken haste.

  “Fuck- OW. Shit fuck Uhh Sorry Fuck oww.”

Dave leaned back, rubbing the back of his neck, and looked at Karkat who had lifted himself up onto his elbows, but his gaze was staring into some non-existant space.

  “Shit- Karkat I’m sorry. I don’t know… I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Karkat finally looked at him.

  “You just… You just fucking kissed me.”

Dave’s mouth was dry.

  “Indeed I did.”

  “Not even just kissed that was practically full on sloppy fucking make-outs.” His words were slurred but the shock in his tone was clear.

  “Yeah.”

Pause.

  “Holy shit.”

There they were, both drunk out of there minds and just sitting there staring at each other with stunned, red faces.

Karkat opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Dave fingers itched to touch the troll again, but his head told him to get out before things got worse.

  “Do it again.”

A shudder ran up Dave’s spine.

  “What?” He gasped.

Karkat was staring right at him, his face red from the alchohol.

  “Did I fucking stutter? Kiss me again you piece of shit.”

It took Dave a moment to realize his mouth was hanging open before he took a breath and dived in.

This time Karkat kissed back, and real sloppy make-outs ensued. Sloppy, drunk, make-outs.

It started out slow, both boys trying to figure out what they were doing, but as they grew more confident, things grew more heated.

Hands grabbed at hair and clothing, teeth knocked against each other and both groaned into the others mouth.

However, they were both too drunk for such an endeaveor, at some point, (neither can remember when) they both fell asleep, their bodies tangled together like a couple of hungry weeds.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short im sorry next one will be better promise
> 
> and my fics should be updating more regularely as of now


	8. Disconnection

Dave woke up first.

In the night’s struggle, Karkat had how laid himself over Dave’s body, giving the human no chance of escape.

Dave stared at the ceiling, trying to recall the nights events. Where were his shades? Everything hurt. His lips felt swollen.

Dave brought a free hand up to wipe the sleep from his eyes and then spotted something dotting Karkat’s neck. His eyes widened.

Oh god. Suddenly it was all coming back.

He let his hand linger over his mouth.

Oh god what did he do.

He swiped his tongue over his lips, tasting dried blood. He found the same thing when he scratch something rough off his neck.

  “Fuck.” He looked at his now red fingers and wiped his neck. “Fucking troll teeth.”

He glanced down at the sleeping troll’s peaceful expression.

Troll teeth. Troll lips which had been pressed against his own only hours before. Contentedly too. Fuck did he just get himself involved with another troll he told himself he was done with interspecies bullshit. He can’t handle Quadrants.

Dave groaned.

  “Smooth move Dave…” He muttered to himself.

The troll stirred and Dave froze.

Karkat was going to wake up, remember what happened, and either snap his neck or swoon “oh mister strider”.

Dave wasn’t sure which result he feared more.

Suddenly Karkat’s red eyes were level with Dave’s own.

  “Strider?”

The troll looked plenty confused for a few moments as he put two and two together. He glanced from Dave’s uncovered eyes to the placement of their bodies back to Dave. Then it was Karkat’s turn to sit up to fast and hit his head on the underside of the coffee table. His hands flew back and he pressed his forehead into the floor next to Dave’s shoulder.

  “FUCK!”

  “Not fun is it.”

  “Fuck you.” He groaned.

  “Already tried.”

Karkat tensed.

Fuck.

  “Too soon?” Dave tried to recover.

Karkat scooched back and managed to sit up, not looking at Dave and allowing him to adjust as well.

  “What? No morning kiss?” What was he doing! Was he trying to provoke him?

  “Get out.” Karkat moved away, adjusting movies on his shelf.

Dave’s stomach dropped.

  “Guess I don goof’ed”

  “Get out of my fucking respite block.”

  “Its called a bedroom.”

  “GET OUT!” Karkat shouted, glaring at Dave through tears.

Dave scrambled to his feet.

  “Holy shit- wait are you crying?”

  “If I am they’re tears of rage! Now get out!” Karkat shoved Dave out the door and slammed it behind him.

Dave stood outside, stunned, for a few minutes before letting out a heavy sigh and walking to the nearest transportalizer.

  “Fuck dammit.” He murmured. He snuck his way through the library and to his makeshift room, falling onto the couch he had taken hostage.

  “What was I thinking? Obviously ‘lets get boned by an alien’. Best plan. Too bad that alien was one of your closest friends and now your back to being a lonely sack of shit.” After a good twenty minutes of feeling guilty for probably traumatizing the troll, Dave made his way to the shower and stripped down. He stunk of booze and Karkat. One look in the mirror and so many things weren’t right.

There were bloody bite marks all down his neck and his lip had started bleeding again. Plus his shades. Fuck, he left them in Karkat’s room.

Dave let the shower was away all the dried sweat and blood and he groaned loudly into the wall.

Yeah he don goof’ed alright.

Fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones short only for effect. Plus I've been putting a lot of work into my dirkuu fics as of late.


	9. Repair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how long has it been
> 
> like 30 years
> 
> 2 world wars later
> 
> 20 new iphones
> 
> here it is
> 
> what youve all been waiting for

Dave sat in his room for nearly two days; pacing, sleeping and finally marching over to the mirror to try and figure out a way to cover himself up while he made his way back to Karkat's room. He pulled up his hood, which covered some of the marks on his neck... But not quite enough. He had managed to sneak out to grab a few cans of ravioli to stash in his room as he waited for a solution to his problem to magically appear. When he had gotten back to his room and stuffed his face, he once again found himself staring at the mirror, gaze caught on those scabs on his neck.

He groaned in exasperation. What had he been thinking? Well, other than being drunk and horny. Shit. Fuck, was he actually attracted to Karkat?   
Nah that was fucking gross Karkat was his best friend but... But in the heat of the moment... When the troll had been messing around with him and their lips had lingered a little too long and sometimes... He remembered sometimes catching the troll's gaze watching him with a weird sort of intentness...

  "Holy ball-sack how do I manage to fuck up this bad every goddamn time."

  "And what, exactly, did you fuck up?"

Dave whipped around at the unexpected voice before remembering the state of his neck and uncovered eyes and turning right back around again to face the wall.  
Kanaya stared at him from the doorway, having heard him pacing and talking to himself she had thought it wouldn't be too terrible of an idea to check on the human. 

  "Oh hey Kanaya, whats shaking? Is Rose safely asleep somewhere?"

  "She's actually sober at the moment... Looking through books in the library. I haven't seen you around much, Dave. Nor have I seen Karkat... Is everything alright?" She took a step into the room.

  "What, Crabs hasn't been out? What a shocker, you know he's usually crammed away in his room anyways. I've just been hanging out, plotting out some new ideas for my comic... Once the internet exists again." Dave adjusted his cape nervously.

  "Dave..."

  "Kanaya."

  "Are you hiding something?"

The blond swallowed down his nerves.

  "What? Hiding- Nahh No way man, What could I be hiding?"

  "Those marks on your neck, for one?"

He nearly fell over and he could almost hear the vampire troll smirk.

  "Thought I didn't notice? I did." He could hear her actually walking into his room now, taking a seat on his bed curiously. Right, trolls weren't all that used to beds. He slowly turned his head enough to look at her.

  "Uh... Would you believe me if I said I've developed a strange disease called space herpes."

  "No. I'd much rather an explanation as to why their arrival has caused both you and Karkat to remain unseen and unheard."

  "Uhh..." Dave leaned his back against the wall, crossing his arms in front of his chest awkwardly.

  "Normally I wouldn't pry... but it certainly doesn't seem like whatever occurred between you two had a positive outcome." Kanaya said pointedly, keeping her eyes on Dave who squirmed slightly under her gaze.

  "Look we.. might have done something stupid, and now Karkat probably hates me. But it's fine, yknow whatever. I'm just gonna stay here until my skin is as smooth and clear as a baby's bottom."

  "And Karkat?"

Dave blinked at her.

  "Uh, well I'm assuming he's watching rom-coms in the crab-cave."

  "Don't you think that he, too, is having some conflicting thoughts about whatever you two... Did?"

Dave's stomach twisted. Shit. That's right. What if he'd really hurt Karkat? Like, his feelings? But if they were both lonely well... That was sort of the whole idea originally wasn't it? They were both lonely shitbags, so why not be lonely together... Which, in the long run, would make them less lonely.   
And Dave was feeling pretty darn something right about now. And he was pretty sure the only solution was to talk to Karkat.

  "I uh.. Gotta go... get my shades." Dave mumbled, flash-stepping out of the room and leaving Kanaya behind, a small smirk playing at her lips. 

 

*

 

Dave had never hesitated for so long about anything in his entire short life.

But here he was, standing outside Karkat's door, his heart pounding in his chest and his stomach flip-flopping so hard he thought it would flip-flop right out his asshole.   
He swallowed and slowly, lifted his fist and give a knock-knock on the troll's door.

First, Silence.

  "Who's there." Then words.

Then Dave hesitated again as he attempted to find words.

  "Uh... Dave."

Silence again.

  "Can I come in? I uh, left my shades..."

Continued silence.

  "Hello? Crabs?" Slowly, Dave turned the knob and opened the door. Inside, it was dark. Just like the first time he'd come to console the grumpy troll. He closed the door behind him and took a couple cautious steps into the room.

  "I know you're in here, you just spoke just... C'mon I'll leave you alone if you want, I just want my shades."

Christ, where had he gone? Even as his eyes adjusted Dave could see that the couch was empty and the floor was clear. Towards the back of the room though.. It was too dark and looking into it gave Dave the heebie jeebies.

  "Or if you want, we can talk? There's probably stuff we should talk about or.. Not... I don't know, dude I just-"

He cut off as he heard a growl.

  "Karkat?"

Suddenly a figure from the back of the dark room was moving towards him, and hands were gripping his shoulders and shoving him down onto the couch.

  "Shut up."

  "What- Karkat? What are you doing dude-" Dave struggled to sit up against the troll but he was held back, stuck down on his back with the troll on top of him.

  "Just _shut up_!"

So he did.

  "I just want to try something, okay? You- We- We did what we did, and then you left. And I've been thinking about a lot of stupid fucking shit over the past two days that you just- just _left me_ and-"

  "To be fair you did kind of kick me out of your room." Dave interrupted and Karkat responded with a bounce of his hips, crushing Dave's back painfully into the couch.

  "Shut _up_ Dave."

  "Ouchouchouch okay okay shutting up."

  "I've been thinking a lot. And now you've finally showed up and I need to try something. And you can leave and never talk to me again after if you want but... But just let me try." Karkat's gruff tone grew softer at the end, and he averted his gaze.

Dave felt a weird twisting feeling in his gut.

  "Okay... Uh... Trying whatever you're gonna try isn't going to end in me bleeding out on the floor is it?" Dave inquired.

  "No, idiot." Karkat scoffed but he could hear the shake in his voice.

  "Just... Hold still a second."

The dark figure above him moved down suddenly, and those hands pushing at his shoulders loosened their grip and he felt breath against his face and Dave's whole body froze up.

He thought his heart might have actually just given up when he felt the troll's lips press against his own.

Holy shit.

He wasn't actually sure what to do in the moment, and before he could decide on what to do the troll was pulling back.

  "...Alright. Sorry." And Karkat was leaning back again. He felt the weight begin to lift off his waist and well suddenly decision making wasn't too hard anymore.

He grabbed Karkat's arm and tugged him back down again as he tried to get up, causing a yelp from the troll.

  "Wait a fuckin second you don't just kiss someone and then go about your day as if nothing happened. At least not without reciprocation" Dave was feeling all sorts of weird shit happening in his gut and in his head, but at the top of his list of figure-out-what-the-fucks-going-on was ==> kiss this piece of shit ass troll.

He pushed Karkat backwards, switching their positions on the couch and quickly kissed the protesting alien. Karkat was just staring at him in shock when he pulled back again, but he only stayed back long enough to shift himself so he was between the troll's legs before diving in again.

This makeout session was certainly a lot less painful than their drunken one from few nights prior. The longer they held contact, the more heated their movements became. Dave's lips left Karkat's to trail down his neck causing a sound Dave liked very much to escape form the troll.

  "D-Dave hold on a second- What the fuck-"

  "Shut up, you started it."

He could practically hear Karkat roll his eyes before he started sucking at the marks he had made the other day. He even nibbled at the troll's ear.   
God the troll wasn't terribly vocal but every whine and hitch of breath had Dave's head reeling.   
One particularly good bite into his neck cause the troll's hips to jerk up against Dave's, causing them both to groan. And then stop in their tracks.

The tension rose way to fucking fast as Dave propped himself up slowly. This was going way to fast. What was this anyways?

Karkat looked flushed, though he was glaring up at Dave.

  "Maybe we should uh... Slow down."

Karkat gave a slow nod, averting his gaze.

Dave leaned back slowly, moving off of the troll and sitting on the opposite end of the couch. Karkat receded to the other end, curling up and tucking his knees against his chest.

  "So... being hormonal teenagers suck." Dave said, trying to lighten the mood. Karkat shot him a confused expression and the blond quieted.

  "Alright well, we should probably talk about this. Or something." Dave spoke up again after a while of silence.

  "Whats to talk about..." Karkat grumbled.

  "Uh well, we did just make out."

  "All that really says is that we're lonely sacks of shit."

Dave blinked. This was true.

  "Yeah but... I mean that probably means that we're lonely sacks of shit who are also... attracted to each other? In a stupid how-else-do-put-this sort of way?" Dave looked at Karkat nervously and the troll looked back with big eyes.

  "Uh... Yeah... I guess so."

Wow okay so that was a thing.

  "But I- don't..." Karkat started up again, burying his head in his arms before sitting up straight, slinging his legs over the side of the couch.

  "I don't want a relationship. I don't want to like anyone right now. Thats why this- I cant- I can't do this." He gestured at the both of them and then covered his face with his hands in frustration. A part of Dave almost felt hurt by the words, but then another part was relieved as well?

  "'No thats- Thats okay dude I dont... I don't think I'm really ready for a relationship yet either. I also don't want to lose the cool friendship we've managed to create... But..."

Karkat peered over at him.

  "But, we could always be friends who also make out sometimes? Friends with benefits sort of thing? I mean- Like totally only if you want to. Because if you don't we can just... Pretend this never happened and put on a movie or something."

Karkat stared at him and Dave's confidence faltered under his eyes.

  "Or I could just leave, right now. Pretend I don't even exist, that works too... Though I personally prefer the movie option."

  "Thats... Thats a thing? We could do that?"

  "What, watch a movie?"

  "No you shitburgler; friends who make out- thats a thing?"

Dave blinked.

  "Oh uh, yeah. Anything can be a thing if you want it to be a thing." Because that made sense.

  "Well then... Yeah, sure. I mean friends who makeout sometimes seems... nice." Karkat looked away again.

Dave's face heat up and he scooted closer.

  "Yeah?"

Karkat shot him a look.

  "I think I'd rather just watch a movie right now though."

Dave shrugged though he hid his disappointment.

  "Okay yeah, no that sounds good. Awesome."

The troll grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV, the brightness from the screen momentarily blinding them. Karkat pressed play on whatever was already in the machine and relaxed back against the couch. Though Dave noticed him scoot closer as well.

  "No sloppy makeouts during the movie... Though I... Wouldn't object to cuddles." Karkat mumbled and Dave grinned.

  "I can supply the raddest of cuddles Crabs." He wrapped an arm around the troll's shoulders and tugged him closer.

Dave could have sworn he heard a quiet sigh of relief as Karkat relaxed against him, though who knows, could have just been the TV.   
They sat in silence as the movie started, Dave spoke up again only briefly.

  "So, you planning on giving me my shades back?"

Karkat snuggled in closer, resting his head against Dave's chest.

  "Nope."

  "Yeah, I figured as much." Dave sighed.

And so they sat, watching shitting rom-coms for nearly seven hours. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is far from my best but i really wanted to update this before id fully left the homestuck fandom


End file.
